i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
