i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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