I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
