There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
