Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize