remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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