I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
