Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
