this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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