Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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