Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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