If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
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as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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