Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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