I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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