Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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