You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
