I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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