Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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