absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
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I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize