Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize