I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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