Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize