So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
