Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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