fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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