we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
