I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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