If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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