I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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