He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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