i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
pop tarts are not kleenex
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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