Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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