He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
barbara walters just said penis...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize