i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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