So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
