it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My life is pants optional.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
