whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
