Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
