And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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