Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
