Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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