could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize