great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
