Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
