I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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