So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
