is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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