i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
