he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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