I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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