i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize