WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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