there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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