Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
