As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
