There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
