I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
