I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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